Why do we believe the things that we believe?
Who do we continue to believe them, even if they don’t always feel “right?”
Where did they even come from?

We have these belief systems because we are influenced by:
- The people in our lives….parents, siblings, spouses, et.
- Our surroundings…where we grew up, what we are exposed to
- Our past experiences…rough neighborhood, “perfect” neighborhood, divorced parents, disgustingly lovey-dovey parents

The media!
Oh, the fucking media!
Not only are we exposed to magazines, newspapers, and tv…like in the “old” days, we now have to worry about social media, where everyone’s life is “perfect.”

We are told:
What we should look like.
What we should wear.
How we should act.
How we should mother.
How we should be a wife.
We have to be just like the “Joneses.”

I could go on and on and on and on and on….but you get what I’m talking about.

On to my story:
The other day I took the picture that I pinned to this post and was pretty proud of what I saw, and it made me smile.

But, that certainly, wasn’t always the case, and it got me thinking:
Like SO many women, I had always had a love/hate relationship with my body.
Yes, my body got me through the day.

But:
I've never been "small" or "dainty.”
I've always had big legs, a big butt, and widish shoulders.
I’ve had cellulite for as long as I can remember.

As a child, my father teased me and called me "Bertha Butts.”
And, when I was a teenager and a boy, I had a crush on told me I had the biggest knees he's ever seen. (Who fucking says that?!)

These things stuck with me from childhood into my 50s!
Of course, these weren’t my only influences. These were just the easiest ones that I remember.

My weight fluctuated constantly.
I've tried almost every single diet out there.
I’ve compared myself to others.
I picked apart every part of my body that I didn’t like.
I put too much stock in what society and the media say a woman should look like.

Oh boy, did I hate on myself and beat myself up for not looking like I was "supposed" to.

As if it is evenly REMOTELY possible for us to all look the same!
Not only is it impossible, but how fucking boring that would be.
To look around and see people who all looked exactly the same!

That belief system caused me so much pain, but now I choose to think about my body differently.

I believe my body is beautiful, strong, and powerful.

Am I the "perfect" weight?
Nope!

Do I have some "fluff" on my body?
Yup!

Do I care what anyone else thinks?
Nope!

That doesn’t mean that I will not continue to lose a few more pounds and will not continue to work out to tone up.

It means that I am doing these things for myself, out of love.
Not because I need to look a certain way to please others.
Not because I hate the way I look.
I do these things because I want to, and that’s ok!

We don’t have to hate ourselves to do those things; that just doesn’t work.
When w do things from hate, or to please others, they don’t feel good and aren’t sustainable.

I am SO glad that I have done this work and have been taught that I don't have to continue to believe it if I don't want to!

Do you have belief systems that just don’t feel “right?”
Do you want to challenge some?
Do you need help recognizing them?

I can help you.
Click on the link above to schedule your free 30-minute consultation.

PS:
A few other belief systems popped into my mind as I loaded this picture into my website.

They were:
Fifty-three-year-old women should not wear crop tops.
Fifty-three-year-old women should not go braless.
I should delete the picture because my nipples are showing.

NOPE, not going to believe them!!
xo