I saw this graphic earlier, and it sparked some things in my brain. I am interpreting it two different ways:

1- I think the true intention of this graphic is to remind us that we can and should do things for ourselves that make us feel good. For us! Not for anyone else, not to get external gratification.

I’m not going to put down external gratification; it’s nice to get it. We feel good when others appreciate us. We feel good when others notice that we’ve “made an effort,” for lack of a better term.

However, that shouldn’t be the only reason why we do it. Our first reason should be to make ourselves feel good. “Make the effort” for us and how it makes us feel.

Put that flower in your hair because you think it looks pretty, wear those heels that make you feel like a boss, and dress in those jeans and tops that you know you look hot in!

Do it all for yourself, even if no one else is going to see it!!

2- The other way I am reading this is something that comes up in coaching calls. Telling ourselves that it's “ok” to do things because no one else is looking.

I can finish this bottle of wine because no one's here to see me do it.
I can eat this cake because no one's here to see me do it.
I can skip my workout because no one's here to see me do it.
I can hit the snooze button for hours because no one's here to see me do it.

Sound familiar? Have you said things just like this or similar things? I bet you have!

In a coaching call the other day, a client said that she drank more than she had planned because no one was there to see her, so there was no one to be accountable.

When she said that, it sparked a thought I had when I joined Weight Watchers many years ago. I know many of you probably know how this works, but I’ll explain it to those that don’t.

I was given so many points to eat in a day; when the points were gone, I was done. When I first heard that, I remember thinking, “Well, what’s to stop me from eating all of my points in ice cream(or a lot of them, at least)? No one is going to check on me.” This was way before I knew about life coaching, and it made perfect sense to me.

It didn’t take me long to really that it wasn’t a good idea because:

I was going to be really hungry if I was saving the allotment of my points for ice cream.
I was not going to get the nutrients that my body needed if I did that.
I was most likely not going to lose the weight I wanted to if I did that.
 
This makes perfect sense! But, I really thought for a bit that their system was flawed because no one would see what I was doing.  There was no one to be accountable to.

And that’s what we do.  We make justifications.  We tell ourselves, at the moment, that it's ok because no one is witnessing us doing it.

I am here to remind you that this is total bullshit! 

You can do all or any of those things if you genuinely want to.  It is your prerogative. But don’t tell yourself that you can do it because no one is there to see you!  That is taking your responsibility away from you.  Be accountable to yourself!! It matters!

The next time you want to finish that bottle of wine, eat that cake, skip that workout, or snooze that alarm, stop and ask yourself some questions: 

Are you telling yourself it's because no one will see you do it?
Is it something that you really want to do?
Are you going to do it in response to something you don’t want to feel?
How will you feel about it after you do it?
How will you feel if you don’t do it?

It does matter what you do when you are alone when no one is there to see you. Take responsibility for your actions! 

It's not about the other person; it is all about you! All about how you want to feel, act and show up for yourself. 

Wear those fabulous shoes, put that flower in your hair, stick to your drink plan, and get your workout in…all for you!!!

If you would like to continue this conversation, I am here for you!  Click on the link to schedule a free 30-minute call with me today!  I’d love to talk to you!!