I talk a lot about how the circumstances in our lives are not what causes the results in our life. It is the thought about the circumstance that results in a feeling, that drives action (or inactions) that causes the result. All circumstances are neutral until we have a thought about it. I talk about being able to recognize the thought that you are having and that you get to decide whether you want to think that way or change it.

How do we do that? Look at what is going on in your life, and the results you are having. Do you like where you are with your work, relationships, lifestyle, etc? The things you are happy with you have because you have thoughts that got you there. The things you are unhappy with you have because you have thoughts that got you there. Interesting huh?!

To help you see how this works, I am going to show you a thought that I used to have that was causing a result that I didn’t like.

Three years ago, we sold our house in NJ and moved into NYC. In my house, I had a pretty awesome home gym that I worked out in for 20 years or so. When we moved to NYC we joined a gym because my husband and I enjoy working out. He had always worked out in gyms, so he was great with it from the start. I, on the other hand, was not. I was pretty uncomfortable about it! So, here is the model that I was in:

C- Joined public gym
T- I am going to HATE working out in a public gym!
F- stubborn
A- didn’t put my workouts on my calendar, bitched and moaned about having to go to the gym, hemmed and hawed about going on the days that I said “this is it! I’m going!”, most likely veered off and went for a walk instead, on the days I did get in there I wouldn’t look at anyone, kind of hid in a corner, did a few things and left, beat myself up and told myself I was being stupid, ate snacks or drank to “make me feel better”,
R- I HATED going to the gym!! (DUH!)

I had this thought and acted from it for a couple of months. Until I realized that I wanted to go to the gym. I liked lifting weights and was really missing that part of my routine. I definitely wanted to change my thought about it because as long as I kept thinking that way, I either wasn’t going to go or I was going to be miserable while I was there.

I knew from having life coaching that trying to make the jump from “I am going to HATE working out in a public gym” to “I am going to LOVE working out in a public gym” just wasn’t possible. I could tell myself that all day long, but I knew I didn’t really believe it. I may even be able to fake it a few times, but I knew it wouldn’t stick. So, I came up with a thought that could help me move towards that (or at least like going to the gym, if not love it).

C- Joined public gym
T- I am working on liking the public gym.
F- shy
A- put my workouts on my calendar, put an alarm for 30 minutes before my workout so I “remembered” that it was almost that time, when the alarm went off I’d shut down what I was doing and get myself ready to go, stopped bitching and moaning about it, looked at people and smiled at them, didn’t quite hide in the corner anymore….but was still more comfortable off to the side, congratulated myself for getting in the front door and staying for however long I did, gave myself permission to leave if I started feeling “weird”, journaled about it
R- I work towards liking going to the gym. 

I lived in this model for quite some time, but each time I went to the gym, it got easier and easier.  Before I knew it, I realized that I actually liked going, I had met some people, enjoyed using the “toys” that I had not had in my home gym, and liked not being distracted from things at home like the laundry or dirty dishes.  It was a pretty good shift!  By coming up with the thought, “I am working on liking the public gym”, a thought that I believed and practiced often, I was able to ultimately change my thought, feeling, and actions to change my result. 

C- Joined public gym
T- I like working out at the public gym.
F- content
A- on Sunday afternoons I put all of my workouts on my calendar for the week, I set the alarm for 30 minutes before my workout, when the alarm went off goes off I stop what I’m doing and start getting ready, I put on my workout clothes first thing in the morning, smile and chat (just a little, I am there to workout) with other members, take up whatever space in the gym I want to that day, get my workouts done, most days have fun while I am there
R- I like working out at the public gym. (And therefore I go!)

So there you go.  An example of how you can change the results in your life by changing your thoughts.  I know that this is new to a lot of you! This is not something we are taught in our childhood!  It took me a while to really figure this out but through life coaching I was able to finally put it all together.  Obviously, I am not perfect and there are times when it takes me a little longer to work through changing my thoughts than others (Read yesterday’s blog for an example of that humanness!! LOL!).  But, the knowledge is there. 

Let me teach you how to do this.  Let me show you that it really does work!  Click on the link to schedule your free consultation today! I want to help you! xoxo