I did something different yesterday.

I did something that made me feel very uncomfortable.

What was that thing?

I put my phone on “do not disturb” at the gym!

Nutso, right? LOL!

Ok, to you, it may not seem like a big deal. But to me, it was a pretty big deal.
I can’t remember a time when I did that.

I put it on when I have a client meeting.
I put it on when I have a doctor’s appointment.
I put it on when I’m in a Broadway show.

Those were boundaries that I put on myself.
At XYZ, I will set my phone to “do not disturb” so I can fully engage.

But that wasn’t a boundary I had set for myself when I went to the gym.
The biggest reason for not doing so?
What if my husband or kids needed something from me?

Yes, my husband is a grown assed adult.
Yes, my “kids” are grown, assed adults.

But….they may NEED me!
And I HAVE to be there when they need me!
(Can you say martyr much?!)

Like everyone else in the world, there has been a lot of shit going on in our lives.
Good shit, bad shit, important shit, not so important shit.
My husband has been stressed about his job.
My older son has been stressed about the midterms.
My younger son has been stressed because he’s moving to a new apartment.

Nothing Earth shattering, but:
- I am the one that they reach out to vent.
- I am the one that they reach out to for advice.
- I am the one they reach out to pretty much for everything.

I don’t mind it at all.
I’m glad that I can be that person for them.

However,
That doesn’t mean I have to be available for them 24/7.
That doesn’t mean they should not have to figure stuff out for themselves sometimes.
That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have to sit with their thoughts and feelings at times and learn what to do with them.

So, back to the gym.

That day was my first day back in the gym after about of month off.

I had that workout on my calendar; however, I didn’t feel 100% invested in it.
I was feeling kind of antsy.
I felt very distracted.
If one of them had called or texted me, I would have been swayed to say “fuck it” and not go.

I know this because this has happened before. I have said, “fuck it,” and not gone; I’ve stopped mid-workout to answer the phone or respond to texts….and I really wasn’t happy with myself when I did those things.

I didn’t want either of those things to happen this time, so I took a deep breath in and out….

And asked myself, “What do you really want to do right now?”

And the answer was that I wanted to get back into the gym and be fully engaged with my workout.

The conversation in my head went something like this (yes, I do talk to myself like this! LOL!).

“Good answer.

Now how do I do that?
How do I cut out the distractions?

I put my phone on “do not disturb” for the 1 hour I do my workout.

Eek, that’s going to be uncomfortable.

That’s ok; you know how to deal with uncomfortable.

What if G or the boys text me with a question?

That’s ok; you can answer them when you’re done.”

(It’s that whole angel on one shoulder, devil on the other shoulder scenario!)

Back and forth, back and forth a little bit…but at the end of the conversation with myself, I knew what the right answer was.

Put the fucking phone on “do not disturb” already!

So, I did.
The world did not come crashing down around me.
I was a bit uncomfortable, but that was ok.

Some text messages were sent.
Those people were notified that “do not disturb” was on.
They may have been uncomfortable.

But that’s OK!!!

Everyone survived.

And I had a great workout.

So, I now have a new boundary for myself that I intend to utilize.

You may or may not resonate with this story exactly, but I bet there’s a boundary or two that you haven’t set for yourself because you don’t want to feel uncomfortable.

But, think about it this way…you are most likely already uncomfortable.

I was uncomfortable when I said “fuck it” and/or answering phone calls and text messages…and I was uncomfortable setting that boundary for myself.

I chose the uncomfortable feeling of setting that boundary because I knew it was the right thing for me.

You probably have the same thing….uncomfortable with what you are doing; and uncomfortable with changing it.

That is totally normal, and you get to decide what you want to do.

But, remember, boundaries are a good thing!

I talk about boundaries a lot because we aren’t always aware that they are an option.
We think that we have no choices or options in some situations.
Usually, we have had those behaviors ourselves or accepted them from others for a very long time.

I am here to help you recognize when making boundaries could benefit you.
I am here to help you identify what choices you have.
I am here to support you.

Click on my link and schedule your free 30 minute consultation.
Let’s see if we are a good fit to work together.