The other day I wrote about how I caught myself judging someone because of their weight.  It was a very vulnerable post, and I definitely had some thoughts about it. 

While I was writing it, I felt strong.  I really thought it was a great learning experience and wanted to share it with you all.  I just knew in my heart and head that it was the right thing to do. To show you that I am human and demonstrate that you can catch yourself in the moment and change what you think if you want to. 

I posted it on my website, set it up to post to Facebook and Instagram and was just getting ready to copy the link in a Facebook private message for my coach and fellow masterminders to read. 

Then I hesitated to hit send.  I started having some other thoughts:

I am mean!
People are going to think I’m a real asshole!
I definitely should not post this!
They’re not going to understand why I put this out there!

It was like, “SCREEEEEECH!!” Like I slammed on the brakes!!

Those thoughts did not make me feel good at all! Gone was the feeling of being strong! Now I felt mean, worried, hesitant, and embarrassed!!

I thought I should ask my coach and fellow masterminders to read it first. I wanted them to tell me that it was ok for me to post! That I wasn’t going to make anyone mad, hurt, or any other negative emotion that I may make them feel!!

I took a deep breath and told myself, “Nope. Not going to do that. I am just going to post it.” Even though I was worried about it and what other people would think, I just hit post. Then I grabbed my journal and pen, challenged my thoughts, and wrote it all out.

I am mean, people are going to think I’m a real asshole…… Well, I’m sure there are already people out there who think I am mean and an asshole. I sometimes do things that people don’t like!

I definitely should not post this……Ok, well, I’ve been working on taking should out of my vocabulary. Whether I should or shouldn’t isn't the point. I either want to, or I don’t. And, even though I was nervous about it, I knew I wanted to post it.

They’re not going to understand why I put this out there…..Some will and some won’t. Either way, it is ok! This blog is about me and for me. Yes, I want to share my experiences and the knowledge that I have gained with everyone! I like to think that people find my posts to be helpful. But if they don’t, that’s ok!

My blog is a great way to show you how all circumstances are neutral. They mean nothing until people have thoughts about them! I think they’re pretty awesome, but everyone is not going to agree. And that is ok!! People are allowed to think and feel however they want in regard to them. They’re allowed to have their own opinions. That doesn’t mean I have to believe what they believe. Nor does it mean that they have to believe what I believe.

And…now this is huge…what I write cannot make anyone feel a certain way. It is not my words that cause people to feel mad, hurt, happy, or sad. It is their thoughts about my words that cause them to feel that way!

Let me explain.

If someone reads my blog and thinks, “Wow, she’s an asshole,” that is going to cause them to feel angry or something similar, and that feeling may cause them to take actions like responding to my post, telling other people I’m an asshole..etc., etc.

If someone else reads the same words and thinks, “Wow, this is super helpful,” that is going to cause them to feel relieved (or curious or something), and that feeling may cause them to journal, read more of my blogs, etc. etc.

See how that works? This is the foundation of coaching with me. OUR thoughts about a circumstance create OUR feelings, which drive OUR actions and the result in OUR lives. Other people cannot make you feel a certain way, and we can’t make them feel a certain way. It’s all in our thoughts.

This is a beautiful thing because the only ones we can control are ourselves.

I know this can be hard to grasp. Believe me; I challenged it in every way when I was first introduced to it.

Nope, my situation is different.
Nope, my husband is different.
Nope, my kids are different.
Nope, my life is different.
Nope, this concept won’t work for me in my life.

Boy, was I wrong!!! And I’m so glad that I was! My life is so much better than I ever thought it could be.

And the main reason?

Because I think, “My life is so much better than I ever thought it could be!” And I believe it!!

Schedule your free 30-minute consultation, and let's see how fantastic your life can be!! I believe in you!! xoxo

(The self coaching model was created by Brooke Castillo of the Life Coach School)