As we make our way through this holiday season, we will be asked to do things.
Go to parties.
Host parties.
Bake cookies.
Go shopping.

And, SO much more!

We will want to do some of these things.
We will not want to do some of these things.

If you don’t know this already…
Let me be the first to tell you….

You don’t have to do ANY of it!

You can say “NO” if you want to.
You don’t have to explain your reasons.
You don’t have to apologize.
You don’t have to feel guilty.

(Segue- I used to listen to Dr. Laura, and when people said they felt guilty about something she would always say, “You should only feel guilty if you did something illegal, immoral…or something she didn’t like. I thought that was great.)

You get to decide what you want to do.

For years, my husband, sons, and I would drive into NYC on Christmas Eve to have dinner with family, get home very late, then on Christmas Day, we’d go to the house of another family member….and see the exact same people (minus the ones that lived in NYC).

For years…
I dreaded it.
I hated it.
I made “nice” to our family members but was a complete bitch to my husband.

It really wasn’t very fun at all.

I did it because I didn't think I had a choice in the matter.
I did it because, It’s just what you “do” for family.
I did it to not make anyone mad.

Until one year I just couldn’t take it anymore.

WHEN I thought of shlepping into the city, sitting in traffic, finding a parking garage, making “nice” to people, then shlepping back home late at night, getting the boys to bed….and then doing what I still needed to do to get the house ready for Christmas morning……UGH!!
IT WAS TOO MUCH!!!

It was not what I wanted to do.
The thought of it made me feel sick.

I knew I had to tell my husband that I just wasn’t going to do it anymore.
That he could still go if he wanted to, but I was going to keep my ass at home.

I was really worried about telling him.
I was worried I’d make him mad.
I was worried that I’d ruin Christmas.

But in my gut, I knew it was the right thing.

I told him, and, lo and behold, he didn’t really want to do it either!

It hadn’t dawned on him that we could actually say “No.”
He didn’t think it was an option.

And, he was pretty happy I pointed it out to him.

We told our family, and yes, some people were upset.
There was a bit of “drama” among family members because of it.
But, we didn’t let it change our minds.

We did what we wanted to do on Christmas Eve and started a whole new family tradition…with just us 4.
And it was pretty fucking awesome!

We continued going to the other family member’s house on Christmas afternoon…and we had a great time.

I didn’t have to make “nice” because I wasn’t feeling tired, angry and resentful.

I didn’t have to because I had honored what I really wanted.

So, what do you really want?
Do you want to do all of the things you committed to in the past?
Does the thought of it make you feel happy or full of anger and/or resentment (or some other feeling that doesn’t feel good)?
Ask yourself those questions.
And honor yourself enough to listen to the answers.

I am the Get Real coach for women; what you see is what you get.

I know what I am saying can be difficult.
I know it can make you uncomfortable.
Either way, you are uncomfortable…and you get to choose which uncomfortable you want to feel.

Click on the link to schedule your 30-minute consultation, and let’s chat about it.

I live unapologetically me, and I can help you live unapologetically you.
XO