Intuition and Self-Care

Within the last couple of weeks, I was reminded that listening to your body and your intuition is one of the biggest acts of self-care that you can give yourself. Let’s back up to January. I went out for a long walk with my husband when I slipped on some ice in the park. I didn’t fall…my right leg kind of shot out in front of me, but I pulled it back before going down. Since I didn’t fall, I felt it was no big deal and continued with my walk, and we proceeded to walk 12 miles that afternoon. After we got home, I sat on the couch for a bit, and probably after a half hour or so, I got up to do something and felt like I had been hobbled. Ouch…my calf was very sore and tight!! I took some Aleve, put ice on it, and went about my evening. On Monday it was still pretty sore so I decided to see my acupuncturist who did a treatment, and it felt a little looser and a bit less sore after the treatment. We both figured it was a calf strain, so we treated it as such. Rested, iced, took Aleve, elevated when I was home, etc, etc. All of the normal things. I went on like this for a bit over a month…there would feel like there was a slight improvement, but as soon as I started doing more, it would hurt again. Finally, about a month and a half later, I figured that I should see a sports doctor as well to help move the healing along. I REALLY was getting annoyed by the pain and not being able to work out the way that I like. Well, very strangely, the morning of my appointment, I was sitting at my kitchen counter on a stool and noticed that my right calf had “fallen asleep.” It was numb…but I could still feel my foot. I really just thought I had had my leg at a weird angle while on the stool and that it would “wake up” when I got up to walk. However, when I arrived at my appointment, it was still numb. The sports doctor was very nice, knowledgeable and spent a lot of time with me. He looked at it, and we noticed that my calf was swollen and was a slight bit warmer to the touch than the other. However, we concluded that I had injured my calf and that the swelling must be affecting a nerve in my calf. He did a treatment, told me some things to do at home…and to make an appointment for the following week. I still thought these diagnoses were correct, and although I was annoyed by the numbness and pain, I figured it would get better in time with the treatments. Well, a week went by, and my calf was still numb, swollen, and a bit warmer than the other one. I was starting to get concerned. The day that I was scheduled to see my sports doctor again was one week before I was supposed to get on a plane to go to the Dominican Republic for a week. The night before I had been lying in bed, finally admitting to myself that something was not right. There was this little voice in the back of my head telling me that for some time, but as I tend to underreact to things like this…I kept pushing it aside. Well, I didn’t feel I could push it aside anymore. I was worried that I had a blood clot or something. Well, I went into my appointment the next day and told the doctor my thoughts and asked if he could write me a prescription to get an ultrasound on my leg. We discussed it a bit and my concerns, and he said that of course, he would. After my appointment, I called the radiology center, and they said they could give me an appointment in about two weeks. I kind of freaked out a bit at that time! I’m concerned that I have a blood clot in my leg and you can’t take me for two weeks?? WTF!!??? I hung up without making the appointment and decided that when I got home, I would try to find another place (this was a Friday evening, by the way). I didn’t get anywhere that night…things were closed, and I was getting frustrated. I decided that on Saturday, I would leave messages or email every radiology center in NYC. Which I spent the day doing…assuming that I wouldn’t hear anything back until at least Monday. I figured that I’d get up early Monday morning and start calling places again. Well, Monday at 7:45 am my phone started ringing. (This is early for me!!! LOL!) I didn’t answer because it woke me up and I didn’t recognize the number. I started to fall back to sleep and then heard the notification saying I had a voicemail. I figured I should listen to it, and here it was, a gentleman from the radiology center that couldn’t take me for two weeks. There had been a cancellation that morning, and he was saving the appointment for me! Holy crap!!! I said that I’d definitely take it and, at 10:30 that morning (4 days before I was to get on a plane to a foreign country), I was lying on the table getting the ultrasound done. Of course, the tech couldn’t tell me anything; other than, “you can have a seat in the waiting room while I show this to my doctor. I’ll let you know when you can go.” “Ok,” I thought. Five minutes later the receptionist said that my doctor was on the phone and would like to speak to me. You may have guessed by now, but he then told me that yes, I do have a blood clot in my leg. We had been concentrating on my calf and shin area because that’s where the numbness and pain were located. Well, lo and behold, the clot is in my femoral vein and goes from my knee to my groin. HOLY SHIT!!!!!!! If I hadn’t listened to my body and my intuition that something was wrong…I quite possibly could have ended up in an emergency room in a foreign country!!! It could have been really, really bad!!! So, PLEASE, if you feel like something is wrong….don’t let your brain tell you that it’s nothing or that you are overreacting!! Do what you can do to find out what is really going on!! THAT is self-love and self-care!!!! Please hear me on this!!!! You absolutely have to take care of yourself!! It is 100% OK to put yourself first!!