3 - I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING!

I think I saved the biggest one for last.  This was a thought that ran through my brain constantly, and I know it runs through the brain of most of the women in my life.  I hear it every day, multiple times a day and boy do they believe it is a fact! I don’t blame them, I used to think it was a fact too. We are not taught that we actually don’t have to do anything if we don’t want to. 

Yes, I said it, we do not have to do ANYTHING if we don’t want to!  I know, I know….I can hear it.

I have to take my kids to school!
I have to do all of the cleaning!
I have to take the kids to sports practice then just sit there and wait for them!
I have to do everyone’s laundry!

I can go on and on and on and on……these are all things that I just loved to bitch and moan about. (Ugh, those days of standing with my friends and all of us bitching and moaning and trying to one-up each other with the things we had to do! What a fucking waste of time!)

However, hear me when I say you don’t have to do any of those things (and many others like them)! You can CHOOSE to do them, but you don’t HAVE to do them.

If you want your kids to get an education, then you choose to take them to school. You can choose to figure out another way to get them to school or let them stay home.

You can choose to live in a dirty house, teach the others in your household how to clean (and be ok with it not being exactly how you want it done), hire a cleaning service, or choose to clean it yourself because you want it done your way.

Contrary to popular belief, your kids don’t have to be in organized sports. They can still grow to be functional adults without that. But, if you choose to sign them up…then part of that choice is getting there. Like with taking them to school, you could think of other options! And, as far as sitting there and watching them, you have other options…go for a walk, read a book, leave and come back. You’re smart…I'm sure you can figure out something.

Oh, that wonderful chore of the laundry!! No, you absolutely do not have to do everyone’s laundry! A friend of mine has three young children, and they have been doing their own laundry since they could walk! Ok, maybe that is an exaggeration, but I know they’ve been doing it for quite some time. What?! I didn’t even know that was an option! No one told me! LOL! So, you can teach the others in your house how to do their own, let everyone else have dirty clothes, or choose to do it all yourself.

Think for a minute about how you feel in your body when you think you have to do something. Close your eyes, take a deep breath in and let it out. What do you feel? I feel my shoulders getting tense and rising closer to my ears, I feel my jaw clench and a scowl form on my face. I would use the word tense to describe how I am feeling. From that tense feeling, I would… yell at my husband and kids, stomp around, slam doors, curse, huff and puff, complain to anyone that would listen, not go to the gym, eat junk food, drink, etc etc etc. I would take actions that didn’t help me at all. And the result was usually a pretty bad time for me and everyone around me.

Now, think for a minute about how you feel in your body when you think of getting to choose to do something. Close your eyes again, take another deep breath and let it out. What do you feel? I feel looser, my jaw is not clenched, my shoulders are not up around my ears, and I'm breathing easily. I would use the word calm to describe it. From that calm feeling, I would….write a list of the things I want to accomplish that day, do my “chores” without complaint, and do the things that I know benefit me like going to the gym, sticking to my food plan, sticking to my drink plan…basically, be in a great frame of mind and have a good day.

Uh, I’ll take the second choice any day!! LOL!

So what do you think? Have things you want to challenge me on? Need help in making the right choices for you? Let’s talk! Click on the link to schedule your free consultation today!! I’d love to help!! xoxoxo