Our thoughts about this holiday week…

As we are going into this Thanksgiving week, I’d like you to take a moment to tune in and check in with yourself.

How are you feeling today about your upcoming week?
Are you feeling great? Calm? Cool? Collected?

Or are you feeling
Harried? Stressed out? Overwhelmed?

If it is the first….and you’re feeling fantastic about your week…that’s fabulous! Keep on with what you have planned, and have a fantastic time!

If it is the second…then let’s take a few minutes and look at that. Let’s dig in and see what is going on.

Before I continue, I want to remind you how feelings are generated in the first place.
First is the Circumstance, then you have a Thought about the circumstance, which generates a Feeling that generates Actions and determines the Result (for you).

So in this example, this is how this could pan out.

C- My upcoming week
T- This is going to be the best week ever!
F- excited
A- complete all of the tasks on my calendar/lists, drink my water, honor my drink plans, honor my food plans, don’t stuff myself, have significant interactions and conversations with others, get lots of rest, etc etc etc
R- I have the best week ever!

Or, it could be something like this.

C- My upcoming week
T- I am really not looking forward to this week!
F- stressed out
A- run around like a chicken without a head trying to get everything done, don’t eat well, drink too much, stay up too late, don’t drink my water, tell people this week is horrible, hide from people, slam things around, etc etc
R- I do not have a good week!

Of course, that can be many different variations because we all have different thoughts and feelings about our upcoming week. Some may think that the week is just “ok,” and they’re feeling pretty neutral about it. That’s the beauty of this work…we get to decide!

So, Steph, what can I do if I’m feeling stressed out?

I’m glad you asked! 

You can try to change your thoughts about your upcoming week to something like, “This week is going to be fantastic,” but that is not realistic. That’s not what you think, so it’s not going to stick.

This is what I do:

I make a list of all of the events that I put on my calendar and all of my “to dos” that are on my lists and post notes that are stuck up around the house.

Then, I identify the things that I do want to do and the things I don’t want to do.

From there,
I ask myself why I don’t want to do those things.
I recognize that I am having thoughts about them that are causing me not to want to do them. 
I am honest with myself and try not to judge the thoughts and feelings that I have regarding those things. 

Then,
I ask myself ….1) Do I want to do these things without changing my thoughts, 2) Do I want to see if I can think something else, or 3) Do I want to decide not to do them?
There is no correct answer here; I get to decide what I want to do. 

Let me write this out for you to see.  Something on my list could be shopping for Thanksgiving Dinner, I’ll use that as the circumstance.

My original thought model:
C- Shopping for Thanksgiving Dinner
T- I really hate the grocery store.
F- stressed
A- begrudgingly go to the store, grumble and complain the whole time I’m there, tell everyone how I hate the grocery store
R- I hate my time in the grocery store. (And probably the time before and after too!)

I can certainly do this; I have done it. And, while it wasn’t pleasant…I got it done.  Or, I could keep the same thought and feelings…remind myself that I am choosing to go to the grocery store and do things to make it more enjoyable.  Like making sure I have a complete and thorough list and listening to music I like while shopping. 

Or,

I can change my thought to something I can believe:
C- Shopping for Thanksgiving Day
T- The grocery store isn’t that bad if I go early.
F- ok
A- go to the store when I know it will be the quietest, listen to my music while shopping, don’t complain to anyone about going, get proper rest, drink my water, honor myself with my drink plan and food, etc
R- I go early, and it's not bad. (My day and time are much better than the other thought!)

Or,
I can decide not to do it! Yup! That is an option!!

C- Shopping for Thanksgiving Dinner.
T- I have alternatives
F- curious
A- order groceries online, give the tasks to others, go out to eat, etc etc
R- I found an alternative. (And have a good day)

Also, identifying your thoughts about the things that you do want to do can be very helpful. You may be able to apply those thoughts to some of the things that you don’t want to do. You can mull them over in regard to the thing that you don’t want to do and see if it is a good fit.

I hope this helped you to have some perspective on how you are thinking about your week and your life going forward. Tuning in with ourselves and “checking in” can be very eye-opening. It reminds us that we do have choices.

This takes practice and patience with yourself. I can help you figure this stuff out! This concept applies to all aspects of our lives!! Click on the link to schedule your free 30-minute consultation today! I want to help!!