Thought number 2

I hope you enjoyed yesterday’s blog and can see (even just a little bit) how our thoughts about situations are what drives our feelings, actions and results. This concept is so profound and eye-opening and it is the basis of life coaching. It is something that I am going to blog about over, and over again because it is so life-changing and I really do apply these tools to my life many times a day.

So, let's talk about:

2- He disrespects me so much.

Like I said yesterday, this is a thought that we can have about multiple different people in different situations. I am going to use my interactions with my husband as an example because those are the situations that I know best. And I’m guessing a lot of you have the same interactions with your partner.

I would have that thought multiple times a day. For example, when he:

Had the nerve to have cocktails when he KNEW I was trying to cut back! (How dare he!)

Told me that he didn’t like what I made for dinner. (What a jerk! I just spent time making that, and that’s what I get?!)

He turns on the tv when I am listening to music while I am cooking. (This one got a big eye roll!)

These are real-life circumstances that happened quite often and caused a lot of drama! That’s what I thought before life coaching, anyway! It was all his fault!! This is the model I was living in:

C- Greg told me he didn’t like what I made for dinner.
T- You’re so fucking disrespectful! (Yes, a bit stronger than…he disrespects me so much.)
F- pissed off!
A- tell him he’s an asshole (yup), rant and rave that I won’t ever cook for him again, throw away whatever it was that I had made (even if I liked it), cry, slam the dishes, and what not around while cleaning up, definitely give him the cold shoulder, drink a cosmo or two, eat snacks from the pantry, purposely stay up later than him so I don’t have to talk to him
(I know, I know! What a drama queen!! LOL! But this shit is real!)
R- I am disrespecting myself. (None of that is good for me!!)

From life coaching, I realized that I was making a huge deal out of nothing! (DUH!) I made him not liking the dinner I cooked mean something about me!

At NO time did he ever say anything about me!  He didn’t say, “I didn’t like what you made for dinner, so you’re a horrible wife.” (Which is what I was hearing.)  He only said that he didn’t like the taste of the food.  It really is that simple!  I made up SO much drama, and I believed it! I lived it!! 

Damn, our brains are powerful things!! Yes, they are powerful, but it's so important for us to know that we don’t have to believe every thought that comes into our head.  We can stop, examine it and see if that is really what we want to think.  I swear that is possible! And that is what I have learned to do. My current model in this situation is:

C- Greg told me he didn’t like what I made for dinner.
T- Well, at least we tried something new.
F- content
A- if i like it, I will put the leftovers in a Tupperware and only make it when he’s not home; if I don’t like it, I’ll dump it and discard the recipe, remind him what else is in the fridge; if he’s still hungry, clean up the kitchen, continue to find new recipes to try,  go about my evening routine,
R- I feel comfortable trying new things. 

I have to say that in the past, I would have looked at this blog and thought, “gosh, why is she writing about such a small thing?”  I’m writing about it because it wasn’t a small thing for me.  I like cooking, and I like trying new things.  Living in that first model every time I tried something new made it a big deal to me.  It had a big impact in my life, and I didn’t like it one bit!  But, other than not trying new things, I had no idea how to stop it from happening!!  I’m pretty sure I thought that he was the one that should change!  He should just sit there and happily eat whatever the fuck I cooked…and like it! Or, at least lie! LOL!  Truly understanding that I was the one making myself feel that way and do those things was extremely eye opening.  Because that meant I could stop it if I really wanted to. 

This knowledge has rolled over into every aspect of my life.  And, no, my life is not all peaches and cream.  I have thoughts like that one that drives me to do things that don’t help me.  But I don't stay in that place for very long. I know that when I am ready, I can change the outcome. 

I want you to have the knowledge too.  I want to show you how to manage your mind so you, too, can change the outcome of your life!  Click on the link to schedule your free appointment today!  Let’s get started! Xoxo