FOMO in South Beach….

Greg and I recently had a really nice getaway in South Beach, Miami. 

On our first full day, we had a very nice breakfast, went for a 5-mile walk along the ocean, swam in the pool, lounged on chaise lounges and read, walked to a nice restaurant for dinner (Joe’s Stone Crab….YUM!!), enjoyed a leisurely dinner, walked back through a very lively part of town and enjoyed the lights, music, and people watching…
And we were back in our hotel around 9:30 pm.

It was a very, very full day, and we were tired!

However, while waiting for the elevator, Greg looked at me and said, “I feel like we shouldn’t be going to bed yet.  It’s so early.  I’m having FOMO….aren’t you?  Don’t you feel like we should be doing something?”

The first thoughts that popped into my head were, “Are you fucking nuts?  I’m tired!” LOL!

But I didn’t say that because I realized that was kind of snarky.  (Kind of?  Ok, a lot snarky.)

I mulled it over for a minute and then said I did not feel one ounce of FOMO.  

I thought we had a very full day, it was a ton of fun, and I was ready to get in my jammies and read in bed for a bit.  

I wanted to get a good night’s sleep and be able to get up early the next day and have another full day of fun.  

He looked at me like he didn’t believe me, but he said, “ok.” 

Now mind you, he sat on the couch, turned on the tv, and promptly fell asleep.  Yeah, he really wanted to go back out! Ha!

I’ve been mulling around the idea of FOMO since then.  

It’s a feeling that so many people experience and have in so many different circumstances.

• I see it in my clients who want to cut back on their drinking but feel like they are missing out on something if they stop at one or two drinks (when alone or out with others). 
  So, they drink more than they want to…and then feel like crap.  

• I see it in my friends who tell me that they really don’t want to go out every Friday or Saturday night with their friend group.  But they do anyway, and then feel tired and cranky afterward.

I have most definitely been in situations that and more!!

For example:

Volunteering to be PTO treasurer for five years.

Being team mom for more seasons than I can count.

Being on so many committees for different fundraisers.

Not saying No to shifts I didn’t want to work when I worked retail.

And…so…much…more.

Yes, these were people-pleasing actions, but they were also from serious FOMO.

If I didn’t do these things, I felt left out.

I just knew that people were having fun without me.

It just felt WRONG not to do these things.

But, yet, at times..it felt WRONG to be doing them.  

It felt wrong because I knew i didn’t really want to be doing them.  

I ignored what I really wanted to do.  

And I’m sure many of you have felt this way.  

So, why do we do it?

That darned motivational triangle.  

Our brain is trying to save us from the “pain” of missing out.

is trying to tell us that by doing the “thing,” we will feel more pleasure.

• It is trying to convince us that it takes too much energy to “not do” than it does to “do.” 

• Our brain like to focus on what we are “losing” instead of what we are “gaining.”

• Like, going out at all hours of the night instead of getting a good night’s sleep.

• Drinking more than we want to instead of not experiencing a hangover the next day.

• Saying yes to running the snack shack at your son’s football game instead of being able to watch him play.  (Yup…I missed many games because of this.)

We think doing these things is easier, when in reality, it really isn’t.  

So, what can we do about this?

How do we not succumb to FOMO?

• Awareness

• Being present in the moment

• Be grateful for what you are experiencing or have experienced.

• Don’t worry about what you can’t control.

• Ask yourself, “What will I get out of this?” before you commit to something.  

So, back to the example of that night in South Beach.  

When he asked if I had FOMO, I tuned into myself to see what I really wanted.

• I was aware and present in the moment. 

• I felt satisfied with my day and felt the tiredness in my body.

• I didn’t fight the tiredness, I allowed it.

• I reflected on the day and was truly grateful for everything I had experienced that day.

• I did not worry one bit about what was going on outside of my hotel room.

I knew I wouldn’t get anything good out of staying out longer.

It was a VERY easy decision to make. 

Gosh, it feels SO fucking good to be able to tune into myself and what I really want! 

This didn’t happen overnight, it is a skill.

It is a skill that I can teach you!

Ready to start recognizing when you are experiencing FOMO?

Ready to learn the tools to help you to tune into what you really want?

Click on my link above to schedule your free 30-minute consultation today.

I want to help you!!

I can help you!!
xo