The things we can’t control…
“Don’t stress about the things that you cannot control.”
I promised myself a couple of years ago that this is the main thought I am going to try to live by. There are so many things in our lives that we have control over…and many, many, many more that we have no fucking control over, no matter what we do!
I remind myself that all circumstances are neutral until I have thought about it, and I get to choose how I think!! (I really do say this to myself! LOL!)
For example….a normal situation here in NYC. TRAFFIC! It is EVERYWHERE! LOL! The last half a dozen times that I have driven out of NYC, it has taken me no less than an hour to drive the mere 2.5 miles from my apartment to the entrance of the Lincoln Tunnel. Yup, you read that right!!! This traffic is a neutral circumstance, even though many, like my husband, disagree.
Last weekend, after I reached my destination, I texted Greg to let him know I was safe. He responded that it had taken a long time and wanted to know what was up. I told him that the first two entrances to the Lincoln Tunnel were closed and that I had to go around and around to get to one that was open. I told him it took me an hour and 15 minutes to get out of the city. His response was, “Wow, that must have been horrible! You must have been so pissed off. You probably need a drink!” Had I been pissed off? Did I need a drink to destress me? Nope! I thought, “Welp, looks like I’m sitting here for a bit. Oh well.”...and I truly felt very chill. (Even in bumper-to-bumper traffic and horns blaring all around me!) I drank my coffee, listened to my book on Audible, told myself that there was no emergency, and I just went with the flow! It really wasn’t a problem at all!!! I finally arrived at my destination (later than expected for sure) and had an awesome night.
Now, observing the drivers around me…I can assure you that not all of them felt the same way I did! There was much horn honking (as if that helps anything), fingers wagging, and faces looking very unhappy….these people were as far from chill as you could imagine. I can only imagine what they were thinking and feeling..but I sure could see their actions!! And I’d bet money that their night wasn’t as nice as mine was! I would venture to bet that there was some drinking and/or eating going on because they “needed” it to chill out! Said from many experiences before life coaching!!
Are you getting what I’m laying down here? Neither one of those reactions changed the traffic (circumstance) in any way, shape, or form!! Nothing any of us did was going to do that…it just had to work itself out. I DECIDED not to let it bother me; other people DECIDED to let it bother them. It is 100% a decision….and the beauty is YOU get to decide how you think, feel and act! You can’t control circumstances like these, and you can’t control how other people react, but you absolutely can control yourself!
The next time you are in a situation that you have no control over, how do you want to react? What do you want to think, feel and do?! I 100% know that my time in my car was a MUCH better time than those people in their cars. I seriously wanted to get a bullhorn, jump on top of my car and say, “HEY, people!!! You’re here, and you can choose to be miserable about it, or you can choose to be ok with it. How do you want to live your life?” I just want to shake people sometimes and tell them that their lives can be so much calmer and more joyous! That they don’t have to walk around with the weight of the world on their shoulders! Tell them they do not have to waste their time stressing out about shit they have no control over!!
AND, I have to throw this in here….drinking and/or eating from that place is never a good idea! It doesn’t solve anything; it only hurts you in the long run! We think it is helping at the moment, but if we stop and think about it, we realize it is just putting a bandaid on. Shit still happens; life still happens…..there are better ways to deal with them.
So here’s your little shake! Here’s the bullhorn! How do you want to live your life? Need help sorting it out? Think what I said about alcohol and/or food not helping is total BS? Let’s talk about it! I’m here for you!! Sign up for a free consultation today, and let’s get started! I’ve got you!
xoxo
